Let’s be honest, facebook. Not good.

A fanciful new alphabet chart using my worst google search term for each letter.

A is for Athletic presidents
B is for Big Bang Theory Episode Guide
C is for Ceelo Green barbie dolls
D is for Demi Lovato’s ombre hair
E is for ESPN Deportes
F is for Finland igloo hotel
G is for Glee deaths
H is for Heal broken toe
I is for “is for lovers”
J is for Jeopardy audition test
K is for Kevin Jonas
L is for Les Miserables song list
M is for Measure bra size bra hurts
N is for Natural shampoo recipes
O is for Ortho Tri Cyclen Lo coupons
P is for Publishers Clearing House
Q is for Quizzes
R is for Russian Iskander missiles
S is for Samantha Ann Wilson
T is for Tailbone made popping sound not good
U is for Urban Outfitters store hours
V is for Victoria Jackson’s twitter
W is for Wu-Tang name generator
Y is for Yaks
Z is for Zumba video game

Best Media of 2012: Because You Care What I Think

best movie i saw: Django Unchained

best song i heard: “Matrimony” – The Avett Brothers

best song i karaoked: “Blue Jeans” – Lana del Rey

best book i read: Wild Sheep Chase

best tv show i watched: I started watching Parenthood, which isn’t particularly great, but is always incredibly sad

best concert i attended: Sugar Ray and Everclear at the county fair

best app i downloaded: The one that calculates how much you should tip

best videogame i played: Hydrothunder(?)

best novelty twitter account i followed: @seinfeldtoday

best facebook page i liked: Simpsons Pictures That I Gone and Done

I’m tired of these motherfucking tigers on this motherfucking boat.

Several thoughts I had while watching the Life of Pi trailer with the sound turned off:

1. Oh, they adapted that book that I always pick up and promptly put back down on the Barnes and Noble bestseller table because the cover is bright orange and alluring, but there is absolutely no

2. There’s actually a surprise tiger involved? I assumed that was just some metaphorical cover art.

3. There’s no way that tiger wouldn’t have eaten that kid on day 1.

4. DOES THE TIGER TALK

5. What a beautiful and majestic whale.

6. DOES THE WHALE TALK. DO THE WHALE AND THE TIGER COMMUNICATE.

7. Is this going to be like Whale Rider and he and the tiger are going to cling to its back and ride to safety?

8. Nobody gave a shit when that little girl in Whale Rider just sailed away on top of a whale and probably drowned. Ain’t. Nobody. Cared.

9. Eat the tiger?

10. Marry the tiger.

Shhhh Sally, go to sleeeeep…

Not now, Kassie.

I told him, “If I met you when you were 17, I would have thought you were foolish and I would have loved you.

And some day, you are going to lose your hair. And I am going to be very fat, and we will be wrinkling and tattooed and nearly deaf, and I will shout ‘I love you!’ at the top of my lungs, so you will hear me.

– unknown.